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Dan and Tim and Pat

From The Washington Herald, November 10, 1912.
By John Anschute.

 Dan would have wooed either Madge or Ann
     If it had not been that
 Each girl had another suitor: there
     Was Tim and there was Pat.
 Dan met his rival Tim one day—said
     Tim to Dan with a frown:
 “I’ll throw up a brick and you can court
     Madge, if it don’t come down.”
 Tim threw the brick, Dan lost the girl;
     ’Twas a cinch for him, of course.
 But Dan didn’t mind it. “Tim,” said he,
     “I’ll wurk that trick on Pat Bourse.”
 Dan and Pat stood talking loudly
     Near an unfinished brick wall,
 All unmindful of the mortar the masons
     Above let fall.
 “We looks aloike to Ann,” said Pat, “an’
     The wan that gets her han’
 Will have t’ foight an’ whip the other
     Wan. Do you understand?”
 “Yes!” said Dan, “but there’s a better way;
     I learnt it from Tim Troors;
 I’ll throw a brick up in the air; if the
     Brick stays up she’s yoors.”
 “Agreed!” said Pat, and up flew the brick.
     “O what a cinch!” said Dan;
 “I’ll go straight way an’ buy the ring,
     T’ give t’ me Mary Ann.”
 When the brick had spent its force
     ’Twas close to the top of the wall;
 A bricklayer caught and layed it in.
     Of course, it did not fall.
 “A fool for luck!” said Dan to Pat, with
     Passion rough and stormy;
 “The brick stayed up, bad cuss t’ Troors;
     Oim goin’ t’ join the ormy.”

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