Newspaper History presents media sourced from a United States newspaper dating back 108 years.

  • Modernized Methods

    From the Newark Evening Star, December 5, 1914. By E. A. Brinistool.

    When my wife brought the baby up,
        She followed modernized advice.
    She sterilized each spoon and cup,
        And fumigated all the ice.

    Each toy and plaything ‘round the place
        Received a boric acid bath—
    Yes, wife did rigidly embrace
        The so-called prophylactic path.

    The child received three baths a day
        In water which had been distilled
    Wife clung to the new-fangled way—
        All microbe larvae must be killed.

    The picture books were clarified
        In royal antiseptic style
    By hot air, purged and rarified
        Devoid of all bacilli vile.

    Yet our babe lacks the healthy look
        Of that small filthy Bronson boy
    Who plays down there beside the brook,
        And makes mud pies with childish joy.

    His eyes shine like the stars at night
        He’s dirty but is well and strong.
    My wife declares he is a “fright,”
        And yet, somehow, I fear she’s wrong.