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The Handy Man

From The Topeka State Journal, April 18, 1913.
By Roy K. Moulton.

 Bill Simms was quite a handy man at any sort of trick,
 Could tinker up a balky watch or fix a windmill quick.
 Could whittle fancy ornaments or doctor up a calf,
 Or shoe a horse with lightnin’ speed or run a phonograph.
 An artist too with chalk or brush quite wonderful was he.
 The only thing Bill couldn’t draw was just a salary.
 Bill Simms could make a dandy churn that surely did the work.
 Could build an automobile that would run without a jerk.
 Could make a set of bobsleighs that would always run as slick as grease.
 Could cut a pair of trousers that would always hold their crease.
 But one thing that Bill couldn’t make at all to save his life—
 He couldn’t make a livin’ fer himself and kids and wife.
 Bill Simms could play the violin and almost any horn,
 Could imitate each bird or beast that ever had been born.
 The folks kept him busy doin’ odd jobs and all sich.
 He had no time to settle down in order to get rich.
 His neighbors all asked favors and he never turned one down;
 And Bill spent his declinin’ years in livin’ on the town.

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