From The Tacoma Times, October 6, 1913. By Berton Braley.
She firmly declared that the man she should marry
Must wholly conform to a certain ideal.
He mustn’t be homely, like Tom, Dick and Harry,
But handsome and noble, with muscles like steel;
He must have an intellect masterly, splendid,
Ambition and power and honor and fame,
With knowledge and humor delightfully blended—
And other requirements too many to name.
She married a chap who was dull as you find ‘em,
And homely besides, as an unpainted fence;
The wise ones had long ago left him behind ‘em;
His lack of ambition was something intense;
His humor was minus and, as for his knowledge,
He hadn’t enough to come in when it rains;
His father had wanted to send him to college,
But found—to his grief—that he hadn’t the brains.
Yet she doesn’t think she has been inconsistent;
She truly believes he is all that she thought;
She clothes him with charms that are quite non-existent
And dreams him the wonderful man that she sought;
We notice her choice and we chuckle and chortle
And wonder how such a poor dub could appeal,
But she takes that commonplace, every-day mortal
And firmly believes she has found her ideal!