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The Ideal

From The Tacoma Times, October 6, 1913. By Berton Braley.

She firmly declared that the man she should marry
    Must wholly conform to a certain ideal.
He mustn’t be homely, like Tom, Dick and Harry,
    But handsome and noble, with muscles like steel;
He must have an intellect masterly, splendid,
    Ambition and power and honor and fame,
With knowledge and humor delightfully blended—
    And other requirements too many to name.

She married a chap who was dull as you find ‘em,
    And homely besides, as an unpainted fence;
The wise ones had long ago left him behind ‘em;
    His lack of ambition was something intense;
His humor was minus and, as for his knowledge,
    He hadn’t enough to come in when it rains;
His father had wanted to send him to college,
    But found—to his grief—that he hadn’t the brains.

Yet she doesn’t think she has been inconsistent;
    She truly believes he is all that she thought;
She clothes him with charms that are quite non-existent
    And dreams him the wonderful man that she sought;
We notice her choice and we chuckle and chortle
    And wonder how such a poor dub could appeal,
But she takes that commonplace, every-day mortal
    And firmly believes she has found her ideal!

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